(The article was published first in Mumbai Mirror, March 2014)
Back in the day we wrote letters. In my boarding school in Shimla we even had a designated letter-writing class where we wrote letters to our parents or imaginary girl-friends.
It was in one such class that I wrote a letter to Khushwant Singh. It was a blue inland letter which we ruled neatly before we scribbled in it with our blotchy ink pens. At that time I nursed a secret ambition to be a writer and Singh, whose short story ( The Mark of Vishnu) was on our syllabus, was the only Indian author I knew.
Barely after two weeks, I received a sepia coloured postcard with a handwriting as if there were ants crawling . After some squinting, I saw Khushwant Singh’s signature.
I had written the letter on a whim and was astonished that a famous writer would have the time to reply to a school-boy. I wrote some more and even sent him some pieces and every time Khushwant Singh’s sepia postcard would be waiting for me at the hostel room.
This was baffling. Khushwant Singh was famously particular about his time. His door had this notorious notice for all gate-crashers- ‘Please do not ring the bell unless you are expected’. He was a disciplinarian with a fixed schedule he never violated. Well into his 90’s he woke up at 4 am and slept at 9pm. Even if you were an honored guest in his house, he would excuse himself and retire to bed by 9pm. Singh was also a stickler for punctuality. There are stories of how people-some of them VVIP’s – were refused entry, when they showed up late to his house.
Many years later, when I went to his house to interview him for a paper, I was running late. I knew I would be turned back but I took my chance and rang the bell. His servant opened the door and told me to wait. After a few minutes Khushwant Singh came to the door. He shook my hand and led me in.
I realized he had made the servant make me wait so he could personally escort me in himself.During the interview, I told him he had replied to every letter I wrote him. He said he replied to every letter and that included the abusive ones. He showed me these letters with some pride. Most of them had nothing but filthy abuses.
When my interview was done he turned to me and said. ‘’ Now tell me something about yourself. Where are you from?”. I was taken aback. At that time I was doing a series of meet-the-writer interviews but no writer had shown the least bit of interest in me. All artists, including writers have very big egos. The egos are fragile and you have to be very careful because you never know when you may touch a raw nerve. In fact, I had interviewed dacoits, petty criminals and pimps but I was never so afraid interviewing anyone as I was interviewing writers.
I told Singh about my ancestral house in the orchards in Himachal. He said when he was younger he had trekked to my area from Shimla. Those days you walked in the hills and Singh said he would ogle at the pretty college girls on his walks to and from his cottage in Mashobra. He quizzed me about my life with genuine interest and finally when it was time to leave he got up and escorted me to the door.
The second time I met an ailing Singh. This was in 2009. When I phoned him he simply said, ‘’I am sorry. I am deaf . I can’t hear you. Can you please write me a letter?’’. And as expected Singh wrote back giving me time to meet.This time I took my girlfriend along. She was a conventional Shimla beauty and there was an unmistakable sparkle in Singh’s eyes when he saw her walk in. He took us to his garden, where, as I photographed him, he quizzed us about the trees . We were embarrassed, as we didn’t know the name of a single tree.
The last I wrote him, Singh replied saying he had had a very bad fall in his bathroom. He said he was in pain and had been advised complete rest. Again, I was surprised that considering his condition he had bothered to reply at all.
Today apart from a barrage of queries from photography enthusiasts, I get a major bulk of mail from three types of people.
1. Those who think I am gay
2. Those who think I am a pimp
3. Those who think I am Virat Kohli’s bosom buddy.
I have been photographing the homosexual community in India and many gays trolling the internet for alliances assume I am one too. The shy ones from the hinterlands text me ”if they can do friendship with me” and the bold one’s want to know the colour of my undies.
I did a magazine shoot with Virat Kohli once and because I have his pictures on my website, teenage girls think I am his best pal. Apart from flooding me with e-mails they call me up professing profound love for the cricketer and if I can please give them his number.
I am also doing an ongoing project on the aging sex-workers and their photos on my website gets me calls at odds hours of the day from drunk men who say ‘Internet main dektha tha. Ladkhi chaiya’-( I saw your number on the internet. I want a girl). It can get really exasperating to reply to people who mistake you for someone else. But reply I do.
One cannot write enough how ill-mannered we Indians generally are. Not replying is not only a lack of good manners but is also rude and arrogant. Khushwant Singh, on the other hand, was a man with impeccable manners. Today every crazy email I want to trash, I think of the good old Singh, sitting at his desk replying to every silly letter he received.
This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2012 at 11:00 pm. It is filed under Thoughts/ Articles and tagged with author khushwant singh, indian author, indian novelist, khushwant singh photographs, letter writing khushwant singh, postcards from khushwant singh, sardar khushwant, sikhs of india, writers india. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
Inspirational! Will take some disciplining, but will try to do the same 🙂
Thanks Neil.
Sanjay, I loved this post of yours. I think as we move from pen & paper to digital strings of 1s and 0s it is only going to get worse. My other pet peeve is with the way words are written thanks to SMS. Sure I use LOL or ROTFL occasionally but reading whole lines of messages in “short text” on paper isn’t joy.
Thanks Suchit- Glad you liked it.
This is a learning for me too Sanjay. But obviously even Khushwant Singh would not be able to handle the spam in our mailboxes. Times changes but I am still old school and love to read books in print. As for replying its a lesson learnt.
Thanks Arun. Ya i know. Spam is an altogether different category.
Evidently true, Arun Sawhney.
You said it for me too. But this lesson from Singh is not only inspirational, but a slap on the fake mask of so called Indian culture.
Thank you Sanjay – for giving such a note, and I feel more responsible for each of my replies from this point on wards.
thank you
aneesh
Thanks Aneesh.
loved the piece, the photos and his advice to you. it seems you did pay heed, your post had me in splits. he interviewed me and my sister once and i was touched by him escorting us out too.
Thanks Suruchi. It would be interesting to read what he wrote about you and your sister?
Lovely piece. You’ve really brought out a very different and touching side to him
Thanks Ritika .
Such a heartwarming piece and so so so needed in today’s times when courtesy, manners and professionalism are mere words thank you, Sanjay for a lovely read!
Thanks Kshama for reading.
Sanjay,
I absolutely love this piece. It’s a valuable lesson to learn. I know I will be diligent about replying to letters after this and about keeping check on my pride. You never know what you will learn and from whom.
Thank you for writing this.
Mukta
Thanks Mukta.
I do not think you belong to any of the group (described above). I found curiosity to know the reality by holding faithfulness and sincerity. There is all the energy within you what you want to be but expressing what the situation demand. Personally, I like your every documentary collection, I do not read about your personal life thus because I cant see the wrong side of my Idol. From Day1 to till now I followed you blindly. What the pic said, I made the day like that. I felt everybody live once but if you do it right once is enough. Today I felt bad, I started my work with your inspiration but never get any reply….
Thanks Ambika.
Brilliantly composed.
Thanks Chirag.
that was nice read…u r doing a good job…keep it up bro…
Thanks Ranjan
truly inspiring
Thanks Sonal.
superrr….:-) . a very good piece indeed
Thanks Rakhi
Austa can you please reply to my text message :-)…. jokes apart this post is awesome and teaches us that if a man of such stature can follow basic courtesies and time discipline irrespective of the person in front of him why can’t we. Very well written as usual 🙂
Thank you Makeck
I am a fan of Khushwant Singh you are lucky to have met him twice. Feels good to read this post about him.
Thanks Bhavesh.
Touching piece, Sanjay
Thanks Sarit.
So cool that you wrote to him during one of our “letter writing” sessions 🙂 And that he responded.
I also remember one of my friends from Meerut who was a junior in Lefroy house Rohit Mandhotra had written to President Gorbachev and had received a postcard signed by him back in the mail.. Do I remember correctly Rohit?
Thanks Mukul. Yes there are many important people who do find time to reply back.
Lovely piece. Heart warming
Thanks Anubha.
@Dear Mukul Sheopory, you are correct in remembering the event, however i wrote both to George Bush and Gorbachev, the Cold war was its peak. however the Americans responded but the Russians in their characteristic style chose not to ……those were the days and as luck would have had it in the year 2010 i ended up spending 2 months each in the two great nations……
@Sanjay,
Had i known that Kushwant Singh replies letters written by Cottonions , i would have also send him one of those blue folding envelopes. I really enjoyed those sessions writing to my Parents though i was a bit embarrassed at my address saying Akhara Bazar Kullu and always wrote A. B . Kullu. It was amazing reading your article…less for learning the art of replying which i try best to follow but more for bringing the memories alive of the ” Letter Writing Period.”
Ankit
Ankit you can still write him if you like 🙂
It really nice message from Mr.Khushwant Singh,he is my father favorite Writer . We have so many books of Mr, Singh.I try my best to replay all my friends.Because i feel gud to ans.its such a nice experience .no problem its later or delay .i know its time consuming but not replay is such a irritating for me.try to ans in short n sweet but i replay.
Thanks Farah.
Hi Sanjay,
This is the first time I came across your website and I am really glad and feel fortunate that I did. This post is just awesome.
Thanks a lot for inspiring.
Hi Amrita. Thanks a lot. I am glad you liked the post. Thank you.
Hi Sanjay
I’m not sure how to add more adjectives to your very touching article, especially after reading all the above comments.
I can only remember the time when we use to communicate with distant relatives by writing letters,an activity which i can proudly say i indulged in but sad to admit that I lost it growing up 🙁
Your article brought back all those childhood memories.
Thanks a lot for writing such a lovely article.
And also to thank the legend himself who gave all of us such sweet short stories which we cherished in our schooling days.. 🙂
Thanks Rahul. I am glad it welled up those memories for you.
Khushwant Singh…..aha…there cant be another like him. Thanks. I got to know a new facet of his personality.
Thanks Vijay.
Loved the post. Used to enjoy his column in ‘The Tribune’ in Shimla….long ago.
Sanjay, thank you for sharing these insights of the glorious Mr. Singh. It’s nice to know there’s another writer (Murakami comes to mind) who followed a disciplined schedule (4am – 9pm) and that creativity doesn’t belong only to the graveyard shift scribblers. Cheerio and Bravo to that brilliant soul that was Khushwant Singh!
Ritesh .. thanks. You talking of Murakami- the japanese writer right. ?
Very moving, Sanjay. A tribute to good manners, which cannot be bought.
Among the tribe of what I think are the real “dirty old men” in journalism, who profess suavity but don’t hesitate to misbehave, Khushwant Singh was unabashed about his admiration of women but he was – as far as I know – a gentleman in his actual behaviour.
Wow! Loved reading it, Sanjay! But, few of his thoughts surprise me as to what kinda person he was, one being …..”I have never been able to conform to the Indian ideal of regarding women as my mothers, sisters or daughters. Whatever their age, to me they were, and are, objects of lust,” Khushwant Singh..
Thanks Monica. His thoughts perhaps reflect what perhaps every man actually thinks without actually admitting it.
I’ve never read Khushwant Singh before;but maybe I will, after reading this memoir.What am taking from your article is a reminder of those elements which make one’s life elegant and worth remembering.I wish I could’ve acquire a bunch of those before I die.
Great one Sanjay!
Thanks Akhil
This article felt real-just like Khushwant Singh’s elegant manners.Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Shweta
A heartfelt bit of writing Sanjay. Some of the photos, especially the black & white one in the end, really capture the man.
Just one thing, must you have that watermark running through the middle over his face?
Cheers!
Hi Tonmoy. Thank you. Yes I agree -thats sort of very distracting . But it comes on automatically on all photos I upload. . Watermarks are a necessary evil- they are the only way to get those who need the photos to contact you rather than steal them directly when you upload them.
Dear Sanjay,
this could not have been better timed. One observation i have made is that most “important” people TAKE the time to reply/respond/communicate. Its the ones who actually have the time, and are not doing very important things in life,like to pretend otherwise….
Rajini
Thanks Rajini .
My Uncle would often write to Khushwant Singh to enquire about his health. Here is a photograph of a thank you post card we received from him in 2011 https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152253931080751&set=a.10151212070075751.495055.749575750&type=1&theater
A prized possession in our family.
Thanks for sharing Sachin.
It is really amazing.m speechless sanjay.. 🙂
Yup he was an amazing guy —:-)
Beautifully written Sanjay. The best thing about this being you’ve not restricted this article to just being about Khushwant Singh and you’ve connected the dots as to how he has been a person to you who has taught you the importance of replying.
I have been a personal fan of Khushwant Ji.. I love “Delhi – A Novel”, “A Train to Pakistan” and “The End of India”.. And I read his novel “Delhi – A Novel” at the young age of 10 and hardly understood the things portrayed in it. Three years later I read the same book again .. And I know what he is about. Loved how he’s been so candid and yet he told about his stringent life he’d lived through.
Great work !! Keep them coming Sanjay ..
Thank you so much Akanksha. Appreciate your comments.